Elephant: "Hey donkey, you walk slower than a turtle."

Donkey: "You should talk. You move as slow as a sloth, and you’re bald."

Elephant: "Yeah, well you smell funny."

Donkey: "And your nose drags on the ground."

Elephant: "Your feet are ugly."

Donkey: "You’re fat."

Elephant: "You’re skinny and you walk like a girl."

Donkey: "Well, I bet you can’t climb stairs."

Elephant: "I bet you never take a bath."

Donkey: "So. Who needs to take a bath? Besides, your ears are as big as school buses."

Elephant: "And your teeth look like the front grill of a Lincoln Continental."

Donkey: "Yeah, well you’re so big buildings have to get out of your way."

Elephant: "Oh yeah, well your brain is so small you need a micron scope to find it."

Donkey: "You have wrinkles."

Elephant: "You have self-esteem problems."

Donkey: "Oh yeah, well you sound like a trumpet when you sneeze."

Elephant: "Oh no, you didn’t go there. Sound like a trumpet, huh? Well, you sound like a horse in heat."

Donkey: "Well, when you eat, you chew your food like you are washing clothes."

Elephant: "And you tiptoe around like you’re some kind of ballet dancer."

The two animals paused and stared at each other. Then the elephant spoke.

Elephant: "You know, I really don’t understand you. But you do sport a mean coat of grey."

Donkey: "Ditto to you."

It’s time, America, to put away our political differences and focus on making this nation better. It’s a new millennium and we’re still allowing colors -- white and black and now, red and blue -- to get in the way of what America was designed to be – the greatest country on the earth.

It’s time to stop acting our shoe size and start acting our age!