Home Alone: First Steps Without Mom

Editor's Note: Garine Isassi, our regular Mom in the Middle columnist, needed a summer break. Sheila Bouley was kind enough to step in as a guest columnist for this week.

When my son was little I was so excited when he took his first step. I could hardly wait for him to walk all by himself.

Then, it seemed like just a few days went by and he was walking himself into kindergarten. Now at 8 years old, he strides confidently, rarely holding my hand as we cross the street.

As mothers, we know our ultimate goal is to raise independent, self-sufficient human beings who will grow into responsible adults. But deciding when it is time to loosen those apron strings is quite the challenge.

Recently, my son asked if he can stay home alone for short spurts while I carpool his younger siblings. I know he is excited about growing up, but am I ready for this big step?

Maryland Family Law states that children ages 8 to 12 can be left alone for brief periods as long as there is a support system in place that includes phone numbers for parents and other family members or neighbors, information about personal safety and what do to do in an emergency. The law also states that children that young cannot be left to care for others younger than 8. 

Although the law says it is OK for me to leave my son home alone, I still have a lot of research and soul searching to do before I am ready for him to march forward into this new phase of independence.

This summer, I began to examine my son’s decision-making abilities. I tested the waters by allowing him to ride his bike around the block by himself. Later, I gave him a watch and told him he could play outside for 20 minutes while I prepared supper.

I had him practice dialing phone numbers like his dad’s work phone or his grandparents. And he helped me check that the windows and doors were all locked before we went on vacation. 

But the most helpful step in this process was attending a Home Alone course with my son. This two-hour course, run by the Adventist HealthCare Support Center through the City of Gaithersburg, is for both parent and child.

The class starts with a short video that stresses the importance of good judgment and responsibility, and then the children act out some scenarios, including “Safety on the Street,” “Answering the Telephone” and “Problems in the House.” Many of the safety issues and concerns for latch-key kids were also discussed.

The Home Alone course instructor stressed that parents have to make their own judgments about whether their child is ready and mature enough to let them stay at home by themselves, even at 8, as allowed by law. Not all 8-year-olds are created equal, and some can handle the responsibility while others cannot.   

My son and I are still discussing his desire to stay home alone while I run his brothers to and from activities. I know the day is just around the corner. We’ll have our practice runs and test periods, we’ll have the support system in place, and with all of my research and soul searching, we’ll be ready to take this next step together.